Do you miss him or are you lonely?

Whooo, this is a very touchy subject for me. I also speak a little about it in my book “How I Single Mom it” if you want to know more.

Anyway, before and after my kids father, I was in a relationship with my ex. This man is the man I just knew I would marry. I was romantically in love with this man. Head over heals, I thought I had met my match. What was great about our relationship, is that we built a pretty good solid friendship as well, he was my best friend. In our first go round, there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. But than again, I was very young, and Naive. We both were. I didn’t have much experience. Fast forward to 2014, we attempted for the 3rd time to form a relationship together, and months after It didn’t end well. I again, walked away. I couldn’t stand the eruption of emotions when we couldn’t agree. Especially when it was someone that I loved. And at that time I didn’t understand why he did not understand me. What I know about love now, today, is that love is no fairy tale. In fact, everything you may not like about your partner, is one of the reasons you stay. Because of it, it shows you what true love is. (I will go more in debt with that at a later date) Through the 12 years of our (off and on) relationship. We experienced a lot of trials and tribulations. So much so, that trust was lost, and miscommunication wasnt a major factor. As I get older, and are more aware of where I am in life with God, experience and myself, I know now, that I was not ready, In no way shape or form. I had no clue how to be a wife. And I wanted to marry this man. I did not seek counsel about it because my emotions got in the way. I did own up to my part in the demise of our relationship, but to be honest. He is someone I will NEVER forget. During this journey of finding myself, loving myself, working on myself and doing the things that make me happy, I find myself also missing him. Missing his hugs, his laughter, his intellectual intelligence on spirituality and just the way he knows ME. There was a period in my life and our relationship where I would stop speaking him for months. I’m talking 6months or more, years. 1 year or two. There was a time in my life where we worked near each other and went to the same college and our classes were right across from one another. And I would walk right by him like a stranger. I questioned God every time this happened. But ignored growth. Ignored knowledge and wisdoms. I leaned on my own understanding and not Gods. You see I do often miss this man, but I know the only man that God truly placed in my life for constant correction when it came to relationships. I am not lonely, I miss our friendship was him, and that is why he comes to mind. I have yet to meet another man that can move me the way that he did. He is a mere example to me that God truly does have someone out there just for me, and there is someone out there just for him. We may not be compatible for one another. But the days of going back has ended.

When he comes to mind and I feel him, is a mere light 💡 that says Jasmine, you need to stay on track, if not, you may just set yourself back some time. And time is a valuable gift given that we cannot truly get back…

So the next time that your ex, that ex that you will never forget comes to mind, ask yourself, have you learned from that relationship? Are you repeating the same cycles with someone knew? Are you loving yourself?

Share your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

#love #relationships #myex #correction #singlemom #singlelife


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