Part 2 of How did I get here?

Continuation… I move in with my brother into our two bedroom Harlem apartment. Things were smoothe sailing at first. But the more and more my kids father realized that getting back together wasn’t happening, he came around less. Days went by, months, and arguments still happened. I felt he needed to do more, and he felt as though I was being controlling. He knew I needed his help at the time and the way he could get back at me was to not help with the kiddies. And the help I sought was, picking them up from day care while I came from work, and financially. Looking back on those days I know I am sure I could have handled things differently. I’ve done a lot of humbling lately and the beginning of that process started there. I felt because “he messed up” our relationship at the time that I could speak to him in a disrespectful manner. So when I asked him for something , it didn’t happen. Why? Because I had the Most ugliest attitude. I had this pity party about me and I blamed and blamed and blamed him for all. Boy oh boy how I thought I was “right” back then. But God quickly did a gut check. I started to pray for better days. Those days came, but my consistency Amd belief didn’t match up. If you are presently going through a period with your ex to the point of no communication, try a different approach. At the end of the day it’s not about you or your feelings. It isn’t about the other parties feelings either. It’s not what you say it’s how you say it. At times we have to get uncomfortable. In doing so, you will see how well letting go and being positive for your kids will get you. I know it isn’t easy, TRUST ME I DO. But it has to be done. And IF the other isn’t willing to accept that olive branch called moving forward and squashing it. Then you have to make a decision. Example. If the other part refuses to help. You can only do it on your own. Sit back and reevaluate some things. It will not be easy. In fact you will cry. You will ask God why, you will be sad, you feel defeated. Family , even your close friends won’t help. God will send some people, and it will be those you never thought would come and give a helping hand. But it’s all and only if you make that one choice. Choose to not let the other person know that they anger you. Let them know , rather show them you got this! Guilt will grow on them sooner or later. But pray for them. Even if you don’t want to. And pray for yourself. And if you do have great support, that’s amazing. USE THAT. Pray through the hard times, tough times and thank God for it all. Even before it happens, and watch how a SHIFT will take place…


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